Perspective

    Next Wednesday marks six years, since my mom died.  Every year, this painful anniversary, is unavoidable.  It forces me to face the void in my life, but it also reminds me of the people God has giving me to fill in that void.  Though I am ever grateful for them, nothing comes close to a mothers love.  I knew this before I became a mother myself; but now with two children, I am repeatedly and at times painfully reminded.

    Though every year has been painful, this year has been bitterly painful.  Six years ago, I knew who I was, and I was happy.  When Mom died, I lost my way.  I pushed away all my friends, gained weight, and ignored God.  Since then, I have graduated college, married, moved three times, and had two children.  That is a lot of changes in such a short amount of time, and I have lost my self.  This blog is my search for contentment in what I have.  I am so tired of feeling sorry for my self, and envying everyone else.  I have a wonderful life, and I should be nothing but happy and content.
    I have a lot to work on, but I am on the path to where I want to be.  I'm putting more effort into my friends, and I have lost over ten pounds! But most importantly I am falling in love with God, and taking notice to all the small blessings He has giving me, and that I have been ignoring.
   I can not do this on my own.  I rely on God to help me become a better person.  And I rely on my friends and family to pray for me daily! I miss my Mom so much, but instead of dwelling on my depression, I want to live a life that she would be proud of! Not just the things I do, but my attitude in doing them.